Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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