I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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