those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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