Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
