I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
