How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize