Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Say something about gay babies.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Drunk is not a location!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
