i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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