The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
