literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
