I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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