I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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