she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize