her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
did i just pee glitter
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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