My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
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After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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