If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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