i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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