ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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