If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
