That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
