okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My ass is underappreciated
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
