well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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