I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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