girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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