its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
