i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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