This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
