I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
