guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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