Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
