So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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