Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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