There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
