Whod you bang
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
