is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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