You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Randomize
