you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
