The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!