i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
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He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
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ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY