My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.