your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
