Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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