he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
