peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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