Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
