this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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