K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
