I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
