i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This is the high leading the old right now
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
