do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
