so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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