I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
