sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
