STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
