I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
