He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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