I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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