My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize